Posted by PRACHI...... in ,

In my Mind…..



It seems...
It hits me, strikes me ,bounces off me..




sometimes strongly sometimes weak…
sometimes vaguely.. sometimes discrete..
in the middle of night,
while day dreaming..
anytime..... anywhere..
constantly now and again...



If it
settles for a moment



I strive to grasp it...
if unable then it
disappears in oblivion...
making me restless
making me wanting for more....



It seems….
it is scattered, cluttered, jumbled,ceaseless...




I hope to discern,gather,unravel it
don’t know what should
I do about it..
I can’t live with it....
I can’t live without it..

 

Posted by PRACHI...... in ,

Distractions.....

[Def: an obstacle to attention, derangement of mind, a diversity of direction]

Ever since we were kid.. our parents used to distract us, or probably try to divert our attention to.... some glowing lights, something eye catching, something that made noise, when we started crying or when we were annoying them or when we used to harass them.
Basically they tried something to grab our attention to get us attracted to something else.

And as we grow old they keep saying to us don’t do this thing, that thing, stay focused, don’t loose your concentration, mark your way, achieve your goal, don’t be side tracked….
Don’t Get DISTRACTED !!!

Quite a contradiction…

Distractions have always been those attractive things placed before us..meant to grab our attention.

Distractions have been those alluring things,moments,instances put in place before us so that we could experience them, seek them, enjoy them maybe learn from them....

Why aren’t the things that we are meant to do presented to us in such way.. and if they are.. because we have choose them.. then what exactly are Distractions?????

Why can’t the things we get distracted to... be the things we actually wanna do...

Why is it not possible that these roadblocks can be our milestones.. and why cant they be our stepping stones rather than hindrances.

Why isn’t the path that we get distracted to… meant to be our way..

 

Posted by PRACHI...... in ,

A nail biting story…

Just yesterday… I was wearing a this brand new pair of shoes (chappals,if I may say so..). It might not even have been like 4-5 hrs .. I felt little uneasy wearing them…
Actually my shoes doesn’t last for even week forget months..
That’s like my trademark thing.. I still haven’t figured out why, how for myself..

Later on I realized that a nail was stuck on rear of my shoe, I dint bother to remove it then but later on it started pricking me.. I obviously couldn’t let it be that way…
It disabled my walking…
So I removed it…. I figured it was one those notice board nail pins.


The strange /Funny part is…

Later that night, my chappals broke, making me completely unable to walk, I was shopping in the mall, limping my way thru and that was the last place I could probably find a cobbler, the only other option being buying a brand new pair of chappals …
Well I wasn’t that keen on buying brand new pair again…
( I realized our dependency on shoes soo much, I cudnt just remove it and walk barefoot, I was too embarrassed to do so..)

Ahan! The other quick fix solution for mending it was.. glueing it.. Well looking out for shops wasn’t big deal in mall (thank god). I went to “hobby ideas” to find glue which could gel in cloth..
In middle of mall I was glueing my black chappals, with white glue..
(I know that’s pretty lame.. but I was adamant on buying new pair of shoes)

Well the glue it seems was adamant on sticking my shoe as well....
Something struck me while doing this..
I went to stationary store in the mall, bought a packet of “noticeboard nailpins”….
This time I pierced the same nail pin in my shoe and....

Eureka !!!! it worked..

My chappals were mended.. I shopped.. I returned back home.. and I still have those “noticeboard nailpin” stuck in my shoe… this time.. Making me enable to walk…

Sometimes you dont realize what will strike you where( pun intended) !!!!! he he he

 

Posted by PRACHI...... in ,

Confessions of an Addict…

[Addiction is defined by “A dependence on a behavior or a thing that a person is powerless to stop.” In snapshot it is described an obsession, compulsion, or excessive dependence of /on something.]

It all started with a friend suggesting to open an account on latest social networking site that was the buzz doing rounds in the virtual “WWW” ….

It was meant to stay connected ..to keep in touch with them.
Instant messengers and mails didn’t exist for me then.
Internet was a remote possibility…

I lacked an email-id…I lacked a virtual identity.

The only source my computer provided to me was for playing games (which I still do ),, listening to music etc etc.. so it wasn’t that very important for me perhaps, just a means of entertainment…

Coming to think about it now, I feel…
My computer was dead for long time … In a way I was too..


Now..

The first thing I do coming back home is log onto my pc, actually I plug into my internet connection even before that.. ( O.C.D).

Google ( Blackle- trying to be eco-friendly) being my home page I am its huge fan as well. Not just for my home pc but for work pc as well ( I like personalizing things. :-))

Tab one: Gmail
Tab two: Orkut
Tab three: Facebook..
Tab four: Messengers

New Window: Rest of the things

thats my routine I think (another O.C.D)..


Tab one: Gmail

I have got to check it, more often then usual I prefer reading to mails, then to net- surfing. It’s like “the more the merrier” when it comes to my inbox…
There is thrill of some kind to read the mails in your inbox, an anticipation for something new to be discovered.. something new to be known.. I guess….

There is this feeling that someone bothered to bother about you, someone felt… to share something with you…


Somehow.. I also like the red, green dots, showing up in the Gmail
(especially when they are besides the people you really want them to )..
Although I don’t like the orange ones that much …

There is this feeling of being together somehow when your are distances apart..


*[ There is something exciting when 5-10 windows pops onto screen. greeting you …
as soon as you log onto to your messengers…

In between the perplexed condition that you are into, of switching from one tab to another from one messenger to another, basically multitasking here as well…
You like it….. when you tell our friends that you are taking time to reply him/her becoz you are talking to 10 other people.. The “sorry wrong window” phrase.. sounds cooler than it might actually be ]


The feeling that you have someone there to talk to / to listen to you in this “busy” world is gratifying.


Tab two: Orkut

Well … you get a peep into the lives of your friends, long lost ones, some relatives
(whom you hardly talk to but wanna stay in touch anyways).

* [Albums,photos,communities,videos status updates.. gotta check them all once in a while..
You wanna know where your friends have been, what are they doing, how do they look now.. lolz
Scrapbook allows you to talk to people who aren’t as net savy as you and you got to check that as well also once in while.]


Tab three: Facebook.

The ultimate thing that has gripped everyone I am no different..

* [You update your status more frequently than you think ..you gotta blurt it out .. whatever that is going in your mind.. You like it when people notice that…
You like to flaunt your friendlist… so force your friends to join in.. add up new acquaintances, You like no. of comments you get on your newly updated status, on your newly updated photo album..You feel popular when someone tags you in their album..
You find yourself thinking about facebook even if you are out on vacation and enjoying yourself, you have got to check your account and update your status.. somehow..
You find applications are an easier way of knowing yourself better, in comparing yourself with others no matter how insanely ridiculous they might be..]

Tab four: Messengers

As soon as you log onto it …. The screen goes pop…pop…pop


Abc: hi wassup
Xyz: hey hi ,hows u
Abc: I am fine what abut you?
Xyz: I am gr8..
Xyz: how was ur day?
Abc: hmm well you know what happened today……..
…………………………….
……………………………
…………………………….
Xyz : aaahh
Abc: yeah k…
……………………..
……………………..
…………………….

Another window pops

Efg: hey mayn.. whr r u
Abc: hey hie m gud,yeah been lil busy
( even if you manage to talk to same person everyday)

Efg: wats going on
Abc: kuch nahi some work
Efg: hmm
………………….long pauses………………….
Efg: u thr?
Abc: yeha yeah.. teme
Efg: nothing much
Abc ok..

Previous window
Xyz: hey gtg
Abc: c ya laterz.. gd nt tc sd
Xyz: gd nt tc sd. Bubye

* [ Routine eehh !! but you like it somehow, you like to talk it all out that’s been bothering you, you like to hear from others who might be in similar situation, and messengers just bridges the gap for you]

Its one of the easier means of communication, typing was only an effort one had to take.. but voice chat solves it all.. he he he

But I prefer the the good ‘ol way..

I like to put in thoughts, emotions, feelings in writing then emoting it out, ( well emoticons solves that problem too…)


The thing I like most about virtuality is that you don’t get to judge people by the way they look, or by the way they are…

It’s like you open your (chat) window into their soul…
You get to judge them from what they are from within..

( I dunno how people can fake themselves, or their identity in the virtual world, I feel they might just reveal their true identity )

Looks can be deceptive.. but thoughts are difficult to deceive…


* [You have check your messengers for offliners, to check if somebody has just buzzed in to say “hows ya”.. all in all your glad to know.. people remembered you for some other reason.. ]


After the countless hours ( that’s another reason for your insomnia) you spent online, living in the virtual world…

You suddenly realize that Virtuality .. is getting better of you..…
But then Reality is no better either..

So you are happy as long as……. you are happy..

You realize you have become an addict …. You have become an addict to that happiness that it brings along..

But at the end of it .

All these things that make me an addict.. an addict to my computer, internet, facebook etc etc
My addiction to “non –living things”… The things that make me happy..

But in true sense of terms.. its and addiction to feelings… to emotions… to people, to others just like me..

As soon as I unplug myself from this world, I have an awful feeling, that I just disconnected myself from happiness… from people who no longer are just a part of my life… they have become my life…

In the end it’s about knowing I am no different then others…

However insane it is.. however worse it might be…
Addiction is actually what keeps you going.. day before a day… a day after a day.

I am glad I am an Addict………

[ *- This symbol refers to signs of addiction, if you agree with them…
You have just discovered that you are an “Addict” too.....]

 

Posted by PRACHI...... in

Meaning.......

Sometimes we derive our answers, to those unsettled questions which have our mind lingering over, all the time in bizarre ways..

Sometimes a book makes the reader wait till that very moment, when the reader could understand its true value, not in terms of just the text that it holds but it terms of the meaning that could perhaps in a way matter to the reader.

Sometimes suddenly just this day out of blue... through some instances.. like perhaps talking to somebody, watching T V, reading a newspaper or probably from a cut out of the paper you just had your bhel in you figure it out.....

Something connects, something fits into that jigsaw puzzle that your mind has created by itself which then it tries to resolve as well.

"Meaning" is something each one of us is trying to figure out, about and from every aspect of our life...

There are times when some things bother you so much that, it starts to affect everything around you. and then you start blaming that everything.. for your difficulties, when the problem lies in perhaps yourself.

How long does it take for us to figure that out?

So is it that we derive our answers all by ourselves.. or the answers are just lying around , waiting for us to seek them.
Its like those multiple choice questions we have for most of our exams, you have questions and then you have answers just lying in front of you.

All you have to do is figure it out, seek the Right one...

Choice is what we have, Results are certain, Fate is.......

 

Posted by PRACHI...... in

Oogle Google ….

Every single day I sift through thee
the vast expanse of knowledge
for that I seek, not within me
It says “search”
You’ll find what you must seek
it opens its windows for me

by a click of key...


Exploring the whole new world
encompassed within it
Everyone hopes to be in its lucky pages
Everyone who wishes to exist.


I seek its help
When I am stuck with something
It allows me to find it myself
Selflessly it helps others
help themselves..

by click of a key...


I spend times countless

Oogling at thee
I marvel who gave it
its ideal name be...

just another person perhaps
who wished to seek knowledge,
not within him
but to make it accessible
by click of key....


I always come back to home
to find within thee
something new ..
something to be glee


I know not now
how different it is
but it certainly does
make a difference to me..



Well, I am awed by sheer impact it has made on lives of people, I always wished to know how one could make a difference to the world, something of that grandititude is little difficult to achieve..

Google is living example of it though.

The realization just dawned to me , that I am practically dependent on google for most of things and most of the people are supposedly..

So, I wanna just thank its makers in a way, this was just something that came to my mind. :-)




 

Posted by PRACHI...... in


Metaphorically speaking...........

The one thing that I religiously follow every night is keep stuff for download be it movies, series, e-books, software’s etc on my precious computer.... :)))
The reason being, there is absolutely no time to watch television these days.. or the strength to fight over a remote control and my work allows to me spend so much time in front of computer screen that I am practically glued to it.

So downloads work for me…. I can watch, read the stuff I like.. any day... anytime.. for a cuppa entertainment.

But today, as I was lining the torrents for download…

If you are netizen you'll know what I am talking about, I lined up 4-5 torrents at a stretch combining a total of some 4-5 Gb of downloadable content which I know, will not get downloaded in one night's span.
Yet I kept it. Hoping....( to be lucky) that all of it might just get downloaded..

The thing that struck me was sometimes our lives work on similar lines...

There are too many things you want to do at same time and you are subconsciously aware of the fact that you won’t be able to finish all those things at that very instant.

Yet to do it.. you involve yourself in too many things hoping that you'll be able to do everything, hoping that maybe you will get it all.. hoping that you will succeed in every sphere.


The next day I woke up and saw that none of them had completely downloaded (as I presumed, each one was showing 40%, 60%, 80% etc downloaded content).
So I wasn’t able to view any of the stuff that I had kept for download.

Well...

At times you fail.. you fail to achieve everything at that very instant.. You get depressed, annoyed at not being able to do it, at not being to achieve it …..

Although subconsciously you were aware of the fact that there is very rare possiblity of you being able to do it all.

The next night again, I kept only the unfinished stuff for download.

The day after that, all of the stuff was downloaded, I was able to view everything that I had planned on watching.

So sometimes, if you have patience and persistence to wait little longer... try a little longer... you might just come out victorious.

But its always a win-win situation, if you know yourself well and do things that you know you’ll be able to.

Now on, I keep only so much stuff for download that I know will be completed in a night’s span. So that the next day I have it all..

I believe the fact that “Impossible is nothing ” but sometimes hoping unrealistic things to happen takes the better of us.

So I guess, knowing what is possible is sometimes a better option.